Picking a username for online dating

Stick to these rules, be kinda funny, try not to be a cliché machine (you love to laugh and couldn’t live without your family and friends?! ) and your profile should be at least marginally acceptable (and hopefully won’t end up here for the wrong reasons).

___If you've got your own online dating horror stories, drop them below, or submit them anonymously.

And why do you, a 23-year-old, want to date someone who could technically be your father if 16 & Pregnant had existed in the 70s? And also realize that while relationships with large age differences can of course be happy and successful, there is usually something wrong with a person who refuses to engage romantically with anyone in their peer group, and instead seeks out a relationship that will involve serious differences in experience and power.

And seriously consider whether you want to publicize your wheelchair fetish, your juggalo ex-boyfriend or the crimes you regularly commit.

Keep your product’s major flaws out of the commercial.

The obvious points of picking photos are to make them (1) flattering, and (2) accurate.

Shirtless photos for men (or bikini photos for women) say “I vacation on the Jersey Shore, pump my fist to house music, use tons of hair gel and probably have at least one tribal / Chinese symbol tattoo.” Myspace-style chin-down eyes-up pouty-face selfies say, “I want to look pretty and am not particularly intelligent.” Far-away vacation shots say, “Have I mentioned that I travel? Use proper punctuation and make sure most of the words are spelled correctly.

I’m sure I mentioned it like 56 times in my profile, but just in case you missed it, here is me in Laos. Love it.” Think beyond “this is a cool / funny / flattering photo that I like” and ask yourself, “How is a total stranger going to view me and my life when they look at this photo? This one should be obvious, but unfortunately it’s not. The exception to this rule: You are a moron who would like to attract other morons. One very reliable red flag on online dating sites: People who list the age range of people they’ll date as significantly younger or significantly older, but not overlapping with their own.

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